Manchester United Banter Archive January 16 2012

16 Jan 2012 23:27:53
LIVERPOOL SIGN NEW STRIKER
liverpool have signed a new striker from nigeria,on his 1st days training kenny dalglish picks up a ball and says BALL then he does a kicking motion and says KICK then he points to the goal and says GOAL understand KICK BALL GOAL GOOOAL and the nigerian says excuse me mr dalglish but i can speak perfect english,dalglish says sit down son im talking to andy carroll.
johndenton

16 Jan 2012 21:48:29
I see Mancini waving his magic cards again,its so bad to look at even though it shoulda been red

Bernard

16 Jan 2012 20:09:14
What I can't understand is that we won't pay these young players but we'll waste £7m on bebe !!

16 Jan 2012 19:22:25
A quick question where are all them idiots that support that mid table club Liverpool ??

Maybe they are bantering with Stoke Norwich and Swansea...just a thought !

Devil Dust.

16 Jan 2012 18:20:32
Is the stop-gap option of Paul Scholes' return part of a grander Manchester United plan of bringing back another former star (and we're not talking about David Beckham)?

It was simmering before Christmas, but now things are threatening to boil over in Madrid.

Hounded and jeered by his own fans and under new financial pressure from the local government, Real Madrid now face a real danger of a fed-up Cristiano Ronaldo demanding a Manchester return.

Ronaldo spoke openly last season of receiving photos from Manchester City's owners of luxury cars full of cash when they came calling. But while City will be front and centre should Ronaldo push for a move, a return to United is the more likely - particularly with his agent, the high-profile Jorge Mendes, now so close to the decision-makers at Old Trafford.

No other agent enjoys the relationship Mendes has with United directors. He now has delivered Cristiano Ronaldo, Nani, Anderson, David de Gea and Bebe to Old Trafford in the past eight years and is also driving the end of season deal for Benfica winger Nicolas Gaitan.

Mendes, who also represents Real coach Jose Mourinho, is close to Ronaldo and will know the former United star will be hurting over his fractured relationship with fans.

His friends are also upset with the treatment Real's boo-boys are dishing out. One spoke to AS only last week, declaring: "The guy has feelings and was hurt that day (the El Clasico) when he left the stadium. He could not understand that the Bernabeu were abusing him for missing a pass or criticising him against Barca saying that he always fails when playing them."

It was after that defeat to Barcelona that Ronaldo began considering his situation at Madrid. He bunkered down at home the following Sunday, with just close family and friends, shocked by the abuse coming from his own supporters. As that same confidant said last week, those closest to Ronaldo also still regularly visit Old Trafford and report back on the Stretford End singing his name.

The abuse from the stands has continued and it isn't just the fans who have turned on Ronaldo. The club's honorary president, Alfredo di Stefano, gave the Portuguese zero support when asked about the jeers.

"The public are paying and are always right. If the public asks the player to maximize his efforts with goals, he should not question it," snapped the Real legend.

Just as he knows the support he still has from United fans, Ronaldo will also be well aware that Sir Bobby Charlton or Bryan Robson would never have left him high and dry given similar circumstances.

But if the emotions of being turned on by his own will be hurting Ronaldo, the Spanish government's scrapping of the David Beckham will also be weighing heavily.

Last year the David Beckham loophole, which allowed elite foreign workers — including professional sportsmen — to pay 24 per cent tax, half the top rate in Spain, was ripped up.

It's now just broke that La Liga's high earners will pay 54 per cent of their earnings to the taxman, which will prove a massive hit to Ronaldo and his R9 empire in Spain. While he's on a massive €12 million-a-year to 2015 at Real, such a n unexpected change is sure to shake up 'Team Ronaldo'.

Scholes' return has eased the tension, but United fans have flooded the talkback channels demanding why they failed to sign Wesley Sneijder from Inter Milan in the summer when all parties seemed happy to do the deal.

Could it be that the Glazers and Sir Alex Ferguson are keeping their powder dry for the summer return of Ronaldo? That money which would have gone towards signing Sneijder could now be used to bring back the one player Fergie has spoken openly about re-signing.

And with the club 's Stock Exchange float slated for later this year, what better way to attract investors than the return of Ronaldo and all the projected revenue he will bring?

It all seems to be coming together, the stars are aligning for what could be the greatest deal in the game's history.

Only yesterday, Ronaldo said in a Lisbon interview: "The Premier League and Spanish Liga are the two best leagues, but I'll be very honest. The English league is more competitive. The Spanish is competitive, but not as much as the Premier."

Pining for 'home'? As Fergie would say: "I can't believe it. I can't believe it. Football. Bloody hell."

16 Jan 2012 17:30:40
Many people on here today seem to think that we are in for an overall; so here is an elaborate plan for that: (bear in mind i don''t think we'd do all of this..)

So Goalkeeper area is fine for a few years.

List of players to go:

Amos, Ferdinand, Park, Giggs + Scholes, Drinkwater, James Diouf, Macheda, Owen, Berbatov.

Potential to go: Fletcher, Anderson, Evra.

Promotions: Sam Johnstone, Ezekqial Fryers, Paul Pogba, Ravel Morrison, Ryan Tunnicliffe, Will Keane.

That would leave us with a very small squad in comparison to what we have enjoyed in the past.

So players to come in and positions need filling:

CB: Howedes/Hummels/Subotic.
CM1: Luka Modric (Part swap with Rio).
CM2: Jack Rodwell (Part swap with Diouf).
Winger: Either Shaqiri/Hazard depending on budget.
Str: At best Edinson Cavani, Demba Ba more likely.

So prices, and why?

Subotic: Potentially the best center back in the world a few years from now - Is a long term replacement for Vidic as he is a very similar player. For me Smalling is Rio's replacement. But going for Subotic is important for us - especially with the amount of injuries we have at CB.

That would leave us with:

Vidic, Subotic, Smalling, Jones, Evans, Rafael, Fabio, Evra, Fryers.

Modric: I always get nervous when Rio is on the ball, he is becoming more and more injury prone and he doesn't accept mistakes (look at the Newcastle game for an example). Lets use him while we still can, he'd probably have an interest in a move to Spurs and Redknapp has had an interest in the price. We know that Modric is the perfect player for us, so if we are having an overhaul filled with quality then he is the man.

Rodwell: We have no idea when or even if Fletcher will be back, his health is far more important anyway. Carrick will be entering the twighlight and within a couple of seasons will be a midteam side in my mind. So we need someone with an engine, getting a good English talent in there i.e. Rodwell we would have a great engine man who has ability too.

That would leave us with central midfielders of:

Modric, Cleverly, Rodwell, Pogba, Morrison, Tunniclife - then take you're pick of who stays out of Carrick, Fletcher and Anderson.

Shaqiri/Hazard: This one for me depends on what we do in this window. If we want Hazard we have to move now, same for Shaqiri otherwise someone else will get them. Personally i hope that its Hazard, but i think Shaqiri is far more likely.

That gives us:

Nani, Valencia, Young, Hazard.

Cavani: Probably the best striker in the world for me, other than Benzema right now. He is an out and out striker, great in the air, on the ground, strong. Would be perfect to play in front of Wazza. Fergie has previously praised his qualitites, maybe to butter him up? Who knows, i hope it happens but i really can't say.

So we'd have:

Rooney, Cavani, Hernandez, Welbeck.


A first team would look like:


De Gea
Rafael
Smalling
Vidic
Evra
Nani/Valencia
Modric
Cleverly/Rodwell
Hazard
Rooney
Cavani

Big overhaul, great expense but so worth it. Even if it was done more gradual it would be great.

RedDevil19

16 Jan 2012 15:55:10
Ags 19. On the earlier team post.

The reason I have not spent a bucket of money in CM is I have complete faith in Pogba and Tunners making it and forming part of a quality CM group to pick from. Not having 3 good CM's ( Carrick, Fletch, Clevs) and the rest ex wingers or Ando. I think Honda is a good player and would be a massive improvement on Ando. Pogba, Tunners are going to be great CM's compared to Park and Giggs so I would argue that it is a big improvement on what we have.

Money spent in other areas well higuain and Keane for Berb, Owen, Kiko, Diouf is not essential but gives us a better squad for ST position.

Hernanes is to allow Rooney to be injured and not have to f**k the whole system up or switch back to 4-4-2. With a top class CAM (who can also play CM) in the squad we can compensate for the loss of Rooney if it were to happen. Clev can do this but I would prefer him in CM.

Wing play IMO works alot better with consistancy. Something nani really struggles with. If he were to iron out those misgivings then keep him but I dont think he can. yes he contributed to alot last year and is our second best attacker but the problem is nobody knows (probaby including himself) what he is going to do. The best part of the Tevez, Rooney, ronny line up was they all knew what was on, where it was going, who was running where. With Nani he is all over the place. He is summed up with someone saying well yeah he can be frustrating but can hit a 30 yarder in? So! I would rather another Toni on the left consistantly pumping crosses in from the left allowing for the strikers + attacking CM's to score as it drags defenders out wide and creates space. Toni pops up with his fair share of goals too as I am sure another player of similar attributes would do on the left.

I just think with the reported 30+m we could get for nani it's a no brainer for me.

Jono

16 Jan 2012 13:45:30
As I have previously posted, the size of United's squad is concerning, more so with long term injuries to Vidic and Fletcher. I appreciate the thinking behind Berba's potential departure but to leave us with only three strikers ( lets forget Owen please ) is a problem, more so when one of them has had quite an alarming drop in form.

With ageing players now being a key part of the squad, I have to again ask the question " What is going on at United " Consider who has left in the last 12 months - Wes / Sheasy / Neville / VDS / Scholes / Macheda / Gibson / Hargreaves / Bebe / Obertan with the likes of Kusczak, Diouf and possibly one or two others also possible departures, it leaves us with the weakest squad for many years with no sign of any immediate arrivals.

One would have thought that the Champions league exit would have had the alarm bells ringing at Carrington and that a MAJOR restructure would be underway. The result - Scholes comes back and we get rid of Gibson and possibly Berba !!

It is lucky that the current standard of the Premier League is crap with United, Chelsea and Arsenal all having the weakest squads for years, thus still leaving us in contention, but some of our performances have been awful.

Here's hoping that Fergie has a masterplan in place.

Busby 68

16 Jan 2012 09:21:19
Sydney First of all Izaguirre is not any better than Evra on form or Fabio he would be a squad player here. Also you must be stupid to believe that a midfield of Modric and Cleverley could function defensively in the prem. Every team in the world plays with a ball winner or defensive minded player they would be over run in the engine room. Just the fact that you suggested that confirms that you have no football I.Q. .You tell people it's about signing players better than the ones you have and then suggest the likes of Izaguirre Sissoko and Alba, laughable to say the least. If Fabio played in the SPL he would look like Dani Alves. I don't know why some people think you're man in know because I think you are full of S#IT. Sissoko hasn't been in good form for 18 months at least. Alba is horrible defensively Sturridge and Chelsea took him apart. . Rafael and Fabio are two of the brightest young fullbacks in Europe they are a bit over zealous in the tackle but they will learn in time when to get stuck in and when not to. RHJ